Spring is here...?

I'm sitting on my porch, barefoot, trying to contain my excitement caused by this warm weather. The wind is still blowing and with it, it brings memories of a bitterly cold winter, but I stubbornly sit through it and accept the goosebumps. The air smells like Spring and that's all I need to convince me of its arrival. I can observe people's differing reactions to the weather and it's completely predictable. Some have completely embraced the notion that Spring is here to stay. They are wearing shorts, riding their bikes or taking their dogs out for walks without care, or a jacket. Others are a little more sceptical. They have jackets, but they are holding them or wraping them around their waists. I've seen people still wearing their winter coats, pretending as if this fluke of a day isn't really happening. They don't want to get their hopes up, so they hide their head until the snow is back.
Oh, snow. Come to think of it, I can't remember snow. I've blocked it out of my memory. I'm embracing the notion of Spring and even though the forecast calls for snow tomorrow, I will be completely surprised to see the white stuff. I'm secretly hoping the heavens grew tired of dumping bitter cold on us, making our days gray and glum. The birds, thousands of which join me in the outdoors, are agreeing with me and that's all I need.

Music

I'm currently listening to the soundtrack of Pan's Labyrinth. It was a haunting movie, and so the soundtrack is haunting as well. I find myself listening more and more to soundtracks, because of the message they portray. You can tell a lot about the movie by listening to its heartbeat. That, for me, is what the soundtrack is all about.
Another soundtrack I've been listening to is to the latest Pride and Prejudice movie. The song that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy first dance to has a magical melody. When I listen to it, I cannot imagine any other tune exists. The only two things that exist, in fact, is the song and myself. Then the song ends. Mercedes' Lullaby from Pan's Labyrinth comes on and my whole existence shifts into a dimension where I cannot feel any other melody except this particular one. I try to imagine myself dancing to another tune. What other tune is there? I think to myself. There is none but this one.
Rachel Zylstra's "Another Again" comes on, and the same phenomenon occurs. She hits me a again with "So Fair" and by this time, I've visited so many dimensions that emotions have piled up on top of more emotions and tears well up. I'm in the middle of a fast paced kitchen cutting fruit and I have to move to onions to cover up the fact that I'm crying for no apparent reason.
I don't bring new music into my regular listening library. I have to obsess about certain ones. I have to dance with them, cry with them, and let them tell their stories to me. I often write stories to them, or movies. I do this even for the soundtracks, because a note or a melody speaks to me a completely different way. Too much music would mean that my head would explode from all the emotions.

My most recent weekend

I didn't mean this to be a blog about my weekends, but they seem to be the only things I want to talk about. I went to Chicago to visit Zach, to visit my Goshen friends and to see Morgan play. It was bliss. I didn't see much of Chicago, or do any tourist-y things, but I feel like my visit lacked nothing...but more time with Zach....next time maybe.

My weekend

Friday evening, I picked up a certain individual from the airport. Together we headed to our friends, the Dekkers, and enjoyed a brief time reuniting with several friends and family. The next morning I joined them for breakfast and then the certain individual and I went to a local chocolate shop, "The Chocolate Cafe" to check it out and sip on some excellent hot chocolate. We were going to visit more chocolate shops in town, but our conversation led us back to my house to check out some camping gear. As it was Saturday, I do what I do most Saturdays and lost most of my energy. We sat down to watch The Lord of the Rings, which, by now, you can totally zone out on if you've watched it as much as I have. Then, we made a brief visit again at the Dekker's before we went to Bexley Monks for dinner. I took a lucky wrong turn after dinner and we landed in Franklin Park Conservatory where we walked and I ended up climbing a tree.
The following morning we met up at church and, deciding to be social, we joined the gang for lunch and a couple of games of Apples to Apples. We sat down to watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a chat with Jessie and Karl before I drove this certain individual back to the airport.
By all accounts, this should have been just a regular reunion, or a "get together" if you will, but it wasn't. From the several times this person has visited, this has been the most magical by far. It has been 5 years or more since I've felt this connected with someone. I'm giddy and I think I've fallen deep into a pit of infatuation.

Camping: A life long desire

Today, I went into Clintonville Outfitters to pick up a few airline friendly containers and I left with a whole lot more. As always. I've been officially in love with with the outdoors since I first left the hospital in my mother's arms 23 years ago. My dad and I would occasionally go camping. More than once, I pretty much forced him to camp out with me in the backyard. But, just about 4 years ago, Dad and I made a pact. Every year right after the Memorial Day weekend, he and I would go somewhere new and exciting to camp for a few days. With each trip we have to do something new and adventurous to increase the sheer pleasure of living outdoors. The first year we went to Tar Hollow State Park hiked an incredible 10 miles! We were useless the rest of the day. The following year we went to Turkey Run State Park and kayaking 16 miles (and finished before anyone else). I got 2nd degree burns on my shins from neglecting to put sunscreen on them. Our latest adventure took us to Maryland. We hiked the length of the state on the Appalachian Trail. It was about 28 miles in total. After that, our 10 mile hike back in the day looks like child's play. We have made this into a life long tradition, so much so that any job I take that will not allow me to take off those days are not going to keep me long.

While I walked through this little outfitters, I was overwhelmed with desire to travel. I do not want to be stuck at home anymore! I want to get out there and experience life and nature and God! That is where I'm supposed to be.

I came home with a book and three small containers, each of which are 1 oz too big to go in a carry on.

Money

So, right now, I'm in debt. At my age, this isn't a surprise. I have student loans, a car loan and two medical bills. Why am I blogging about? It's totally on my mind. Money for me has been this evil device that some minion of Satan (aka, the man) has used against me so my mobility and my opportunites are both limited. But, now, I'm fighting back. The man should have known he can't keep me down for long. I'm doing the whole Total Money Makeover, and even though I utterly despise money and budgets and all that would limit creativity and free living, I'm sticking it to the greedy minion and putting him in his place, which is totally off my bank account. I have one more payment on my smallest bill and then it's on to the next one. Soon, I'll hit the big whopper of a bill, the student loan, and I will be free from the bondage the establishment puts us in. If you are a bank, a credit card company, or the government, you had better watch out. I'm on to you.

My very first blog post

I've been trying to start up a blog for quite some time now, and I think this might be the time it actually happens. It is January, so I think I just chose my new year's resolution.